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January 2, 2011
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Earned Not Bought

02-01-11

Who are these so called friends we believe in?...
We choose them all the way through our life,
We choose every single one of them to help us,
We choose them because we know they care.

What are they if not a spark in our lives?...
Friends are those few people who actually know us,
Who are there when we want to jump off a cliff,
Who grab our hand as we try to reach for that old blade.

What did we do to deserve them?...
Every second that question is asked,
Every time that question is pondered,
That is when they will be there to help us out.

They are not a minimum requirement,
Their friendship isn't something we can buy,
It is something we work at,
Something you can only earn.

This is not a take, take situation.
It is one where we give and give,
Then in our time of need...
We will be the ones receiving.

So, from me to you,
A friend is a spark...
A small ignition  
That keeps us going.


_________________________________________________________________
Balelus
This was written for the 'Be A Spark Contest'. [link]

This is Literature - Poetry - Free Verse.

My preview image for all my entries can be found at:
[link]

There were three main questions (which don't necessarily have to be answered) for this contest... these are:
- What is your spark?
- How do you rise above challenges and ignite the world?
- Have you shown another his or her spark?
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmagicaljoey:
Hellooo popping by to crit

My very, very first thought is superb title.

My next thought is don't combine question marks with ellipses (I don't know if it is wrong or if it just looks wrong).

I love your theme (I have several friends to whom this can relate) but I would love more imagery; metaphors, similes, onomatopoeia, assonance. I want to be able to paint a mental picture of the emotions, statements and questions not just read them.
- You have done this on occasion (a friend is a spark - metaphor) but I think this needs more.
(As the Hatter would say, it's lost its 'muchness')

Your punctuation (apart from combining as mentioned above) is superb and I can read this knowing how you wanted it read.

You mention some superb points regarding friends, and you write well, I would just love some more imagery to engage my mind.

(If this came out sounding harsh that was not my intention - sorry!)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconeternallymadlyyours:
EternallyMadlyYours Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011  Student Writer
I really like this one, and wish I could tell you how, but this one spoke to me in a way that's difficult to explain. I'm glad you wrote this.
Reply
:icon007balel:
007Balel Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011  Student Writer
I am really glad that you liked it.. and that it holds meaning for you :)
Thanks for commenting.
Reply
:iconilike2draw:
ilike2draw Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2011   Writer
Very well done. I have to agree with you on this. :)
Reply
:icon007balel:
007Balel Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011  Student Writer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2011  Student Writer
Very nicely written, definitely a worthy entry to the contest =) I wish you luck with it!

Incidently, I love the preview image. I have a thing for Zippos, so I commend you for choosing a lighter as your preview! :XD:
Reply
:icon007balel:
007Balel Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2011  Student Writer
Yeah me too :D
I have one on my desk, so every time I get lost in my thoughts I just play around with it :P

Thanks for your comment.
Although I will probably be editing it later tonight or maybe tomorrow.
Reply
:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2011  Student Writer
Everything can be improved, of course, so editing's always to be encouraged =)

I have three at the moment: a brushed steel one, a brass venetian one and a Jack Daniels one =D I've got my beady eye on my next one too, haha.
Reply
:icon007balel:
007Balel Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2011  Student Writer
I like the idea of having a Jack Daniel's one.
My fav one has a pirate's skull on the side and on the lid it has the words "Mess with the best" :D (It was originally for my friend, but I loved it so I bought him another one :P)
Reply
:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2011  Student Writer
My boyfriend gave it to me just before we started dating. It's the one I carry around - the others stay shiny in their boxes. Steel with the logo engraved into it; beautiful =D

I bought the boyfriend a brass Marlboro one for his birthday, and it was soooo hard to give it to him. I feel your pain with wanting to keep the pretty gifts, but I was unable to keep it since I couldn't afford another :'(
Reply
:icon007balel:
007Balel Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011  Student Writer
Yeah I know what you mean =/...
You always find things which you instantly love, but then you would have already planned to give them as presents..
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